Double D's

The Double Dinner (DD) is something that my friend Aileen and I repeatedly dabbled in during our undergrad years. I am ashamed to admit it, but the truth must come out. DD, by definition, is the INTENTIONAL booking of dinner with 2 different groups of friends for the same dinner time allotment. In other words, Aileen and I would have dinner with Friend A at 6:30 only to rendesvouz with Friend B at 8:00. While DD is not a huge problem on its own, the danger lies in eating at each meal as though it were your only opportunity for nourishment.

I now believe that DD is only the tip of the iceberg—gateway eating habits into even larger, seedier forms of gluttony. My name is Citadelle, and I did the Double Buffet.

It started off innocently enough. A couple of weekends ago, Victor asked if I wanted to accompany him to his cousin's birthday brunch, to which I obliged. "Brunch" ended up being a 2 and a half hour feeding frenzy on all you can eat crab legs, sushi, lau lau chicken, omelettes and waffles washed down with bucketfuls of pinapple/cran/champagne.

Only half an hour later, with spicy salmon and seaweed still on my breath, we headed to his friend Marcos' baby shower, furnished with all the buffalo wings, potato skins, and other finger foods a super bowl Sunday could wish for. Did I pass up on the carrot cake since at this point my pants were not only unbuttoned but at my ankles because even my calves got fatter through this process? NO. I ate it. And I loved it . And now I am here to address the fact that I have a problem.